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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has long been the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive to significant toilet tales and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to find out that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who took the rest room a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook when, at the height of his fame playing for City, the controversial forward visited a nearby college to access the restrooms during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a pupil informed a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled through the school as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the official to reason with Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with an England manager as players dived into the water. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I shut the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for women's football cup news regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We remained in an extended queue, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We scarcely made eye contact, our looks wavered slightly nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a freezing stare. Quiet and watchful” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes officials were once put through by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations on the school grounds with children he expected would overpower him. This masochistic tendency must account for his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|